Its like fucking up at double dutch....

So I finally went half-sies on the Letus 35mm lens adapter. 1138$ and change. Damn, when this thing comes in, its gonna over. So that last blog was me trying to write a blog while under the influence of a sleeping pill. I was trying to fight it as long as I could but I crawled into bed after I couldn't concentrate on the computer screen. I don't think it was strong enough to knock me out cause I just laid there feeling immobilized. I didn't even sleep that night, and when my ipod finally died, I knew it was time for me to get out of bed. But that was at 10:45. And my class starts at 11.

My tv presentation was today at 1:00. My group had made a video explaining about the radio. I thought it was an honest effort by us to make something a little more interesting than what other groups had done. Which was basically read out loud to the class...

doxylamine succinate

I am falling asleep right now. I don't know if its the tryptophan from the turkey/avocado sandwich I just ate. I'm watching an episode of The Office. I just noticed that the receptionist is the blowjob girl from the Derrick Comedy video. Thats so crazy... I like checking my emails. I get some some funny emails sometimes. ............................................................... I'm feeling lighthead.

Hanks

Yup...

I feel like I've had this dream before

I have to write it down, just in case it might come true (I'm joking) and before I forget, I fell asleep from 1 ish to 2 ish during the day. I'm working on this show that follows around a man. And the host looks exactly like him. Everyone in the audience are members of the guy's family and friends and everyone is dead. I'm operating the camera and following him around. He starts going nuts. Suddenly we're on a beach and everyone from the crowd is slowly waking up. We walk across the beach to a gymnasium type place, and in there is a giant pool in the center. Everything is frozen over and there is a giant tidal wave coming to hit us, everything is in panic. In the pool are a couple of small boats. I gather the oars and throw them to the boats.

A bunch of us are getting them ready to leave. I'm wearing a bubble vest similar to Marty Mcflys. But when I get in the pool its like a life jacket (bttf reference). I cant swim with it on. I have to dive for a piece of rope. For some reason it was a key component for one of the boats to work. Me and this random guy start working together. We're fixing one of the boats. Everyone else leaves in the boats. We saved one boat for us, but we saw that someone that was living in the building across from us had a boat in the place he was living. He was living in the wreckage of an airplane that crashed into the sideof the building. It was hanging on by threads and would fall off at any moment. We worked our way to the place. and we got there and helped him take the boat out by pulling off panels of the airplane. As we were working, we heard a commotion. We looked over to our boat and there were hundreds of people wanting to get rescued. They were all tryin to get on a small boat that only four or five people could fit. I was angry at first but then i was like "theyre idiots" I understood that if we had tried to leave then that would have been us. almost 40 people fell into the freezing water. the place started rumbling. I thought it was the wave but we still had time. I'm not sure what happened next because this was one of the first times my dream switched out of first person view. it showed a title screen of the arctic melting. and it said 2010.

I'm in the room of a friend from my childhood. He lived in the basement of his house and it was flooded with water. it was converted for the entire family to stay there cause it was stockpiled with food and supplies that been water damaged or had rotten away. I go to his younger sisters room. She was a few years younger than me. I look at all her things and on her dresser was a note on top of a small stack of poloroids. The note read, "please forgive me for what ive done".. I pick up the photos and flip through them. one of her as i remembered her as a kid. one of her and a friend, her partying, a picture of her smoking weed. a picture of her laying on the ground laughing. and then i found a picture of her chest deep in water. I stared at it for a moment and the image suddenly came to life. she was chest deep into water and she was holding two shotgun shells in her hands. She looked at me, smiled, placed the shells in her mouth and bit down on them with her canines acting like firing pins. boom. i looked away, and placed the photos back in order and put them back in their place.

I stepped out of the room and walked across the hall. I opened a door and a large black dog started barking at me. I was friendly to it and it calmed down and started wagging its tail. I started following me, I was her new master...then i woke up.

Cool Runnings

Is not only a funny movie about the first Jamaican bobsled team, but its a great example of perseverance and courage under scrutiny. I have the film on vhs tape and watch it as much as i can. There is a scene in the film that taught me a lot about life. John Candy's character is talking with Leon's character about piloting the bobsled. The pilot of the bobsled stays back at the hotel studying pictures of the course while his teammates go out drinking at the the bars. I feel like that when i think about my friends @ Exploding Toys. I never want to claim that I'm running the show but I know that if I steer us in the wrong direction, we'll crash...

The Drunk Demos, and Lent

So I spent the last night with Seth, working on some music. We recorded what is to become of our very first Ep entitled the Drunk Demos. That stuff is going to be crazy.

Also I decide to give up swearing for Lent. I am nowhere near a religious person, but I have a new years resolution to try and celebrate as many holidays and practices that I could. Plus I want to see if I could try it. My friend Camber told me that the consequence for Lent is that I have to kill a baby every time I swear. These babies better watch the fuck out... oops!

Under Water

I'm drowning, whatis happening to me?

will someone please save me

I cant explain, how I got this far

Come save me, Come save me, from me

I feel like a ship in a bottle

and I'm sinking to the bottom

I'm reaching up for air

you're last person I'd find here

Come save me, Come save me, from me

listen to the song at:

myspace.com/kitchenfuckingsink

I wrote this song today.. I'm not really sure on the meaning just yet. drowning, bottle, ocean, needing saving... I smell substance abuse... maybe. I was looking for something to fill out the song, I was looking for that under water feeling so all the tones in the song are all deep has a lot of echo and bass to it.

We're on the phone

and you're sleeping... its ok, I like that.... I'm just glad I can be there for you, in any way I can....

Back to our scheduled broadcasting....

Enough with the trip down memory lame (yes is spelled that correctly, and yes its a play on words). Today I was at Barnes and Noble in fairfield and I was sitting at the cafe drinking some coffee. And then it hit me... I was doing the most stereotypical filmmaker thing ever... I was at a coffee shop working on a script. I laughed at myself cause I always said that it was lame to do that. I think its funny cause I actually saw someone with a laptop writing a script one time. They're hoping that someone would walk by and ask them about it. Well I don't have a laptop anyway. I printed my pages out and wrote notes all over it. I like that old school paper feel to it. before technology. Shit, I should have brought my vintage typewriter with me. A bunch of people sat next to me and proceeded to play the yu-gi-oh cardgame. I'll admit I used to play that game. Until I grew up of course. But I swear, some of them looked older than me. I also saw some kids that could have been 10 or 12 ordering coffee. This one little girl recited her order like a poetry slam acceptance speech. Did you ever hear that coffee stunts your growth? (which is of course bullshit) but damn...

oh yeah... so I'm there workin.. and I told myself, I'm going to leave this bookstore on one of these three conditions....

A) I run out of coffee

B)I finish working on this script

C) my ipod dies

.... My ipod decided to give up on me... I drank 3 venti white chocolate mochas made with soy.. and my script is still undone... fuckin coffee... a narcoleptic insomniac with a caffeine addiction.... thats just fucked up... thanks a lot, life.

Happy Valentine's Day

Writers Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Anyone reading this blogspot should know that there I express a lot of hatred towards whatsherface. But there was a time when i did (keyword is past tense) care for this person. I did write about what it was like before that. So in the spirit of Valentine's day, I give you the genesis...

More months pass, and we were still friends. When summer came around thats when things started to change. We started hanging out more often and we both decided that it would be cool if we wrote a script together. I remember a night around the time we finished the script. We went to starbucks and we had a conversation that really took us to another step in our friendship. We had both agreed with each other that if one of us started seeing someone, that the other would really feel bad about it. When I dropped her off at her house, we sat in my car for hours. We talked the kind of talk that made it seem like everything outside the car didn't really matter. We listened to music on my ipod. Songs that I've heard a hundred times over. But for some reason they sounded different, somewhat better. All of a sudden had a new meaning to me. As the night progressed we got more comfortable. I found my shoulder occupied by her resting head, her hand wrapped around my arm. I felt a chill, not of cold but of excitement. For that moment in time I felt like everything was ok. We shifted poesitions until I finally wrapped my arm around her. We sat there for what seemed like hours. She left around 2 in the morning, we sat back in our chairs looking at each other. it was an awkward silence, we were probably both thinking "what the fuck just happened?" and then she asked me something that just made so much sense to me, "what if we introduced a plot twist?" damn... i cant believe she just asked that. so many things shot through my mind in the following seconds. and then i knew, without a shadow of a doubt that she wanted me to kiss her. it took me so long to muster up the courage to lean forward and kiss her. i dont know how i did it, but when it was all over we looked each other in the eyes and knew that we stumbled onto something big. In a good wasy of course. For the longest time I thought she would never feel anywhere near the same way that I feel about her. I just proved myself wrong.

cut to: two months later and i hate her fucking guts.

I felt musically inclined... and of course zombies...

An unfinished Kitchen Sink Song. I just never felt like finishing it.

I don't even remember the chords to play this.

so let the zombies come and eat your brains,

I dont think we will make out, or make it out alive

its just you and I, in this bunker built for two

and we're low on supplies, and i don't think its right to say

that i hate you, for eating all our food, and making so much noise.

I'd rather be outside, than in there with you.

your as brainless as a zombie

and a very horrible shot

and I cant afford to travel

cause you cannot tie a knot

with this rope on this boat

that we'll steal to find an island

to escape from these zombies

who are trying to be violent

and i know were going steady

but i was never ready to pick up this machete

and its going to be messy

with my hands stained red

ill fight the undead

all in the hopes that i can get the hell away from you.

The Juggling Act and Weekend Warriors

Originally written on 9/16/09, taken from my myspace blog

Making films can be some of the hardest things for a person to do. It is strenuous. Its laborious. And it can be detrimental to ones mental health. (I'm literally crazy) But really, filmmaking is not one thing, its a bunch of things. People can say deep down, its storytelling. I say otherwise. Its much more than an art. Its everything you have ever learned in your life: Writing what you know, what you've been though. Its pulling aspects of your story from you own life. Its the way your social skills developed in order to meet people, cast them, direct them, work with them and eventually help advertise. Its juggling ten things at once. Seriously, every aspect of production is linked with one another, each one needs to work together and independently at the same time. If the script sucks, you're fucked from the start. if the actors suck, you cant save it in post. You can have great cinematography, but you can still fuck up the sound. you need everything.... and you need to be good at everything.... It doesnt make any sense if you're a director but cant operate a camera. it doesnt make any sense if your a cinematographer but dont know how to edit. I fucking hate directors that dont do shit. get dirty with us. I hate cinematographers that dont know shit about lights. I hate writers that write scripts that are basically about nothing. I hate editors that cant mix their own sound. I hate actors that don't know that they shouldn't act. I hate the filmmaker's equivalent to the weekend warrior. Half-assers that think they "know whats up". We live, breathe, and eat this shit.

I'm sorry if i sound angry, its just a meaningless rant... but honestly, if you think that the above offended you, and you might think that I'm targeting some people... I'm not. I mentioned no names.... BUT if you do think that im talking about you, then i must have called you out on one of your own faults.... fucking do something about it. prove me wrong...

My Birthday week 09

OCT 4-10

SUNDAY

I don't really remember

MONDAY

i woke up and went to work. same old shit.

TUESDAY

i went to school that day a little early, i wanted to pop in just before the class before mine. George saw me and announced to his class that it was my birthday. I pretended to be embarrassed but i secretly wanted people to know.

Angelica got me a balloon ans a hello kitty tiara. How nice.

After that Seth and I spent the rest of the day talking to this girl named Sara. Her birthday was the day before mine. We talked about party stories, drunken tales from years past. I'll have to admit it was a one sided conversation. I never got shitfaced before in my life. (if only i knew)

That night I went to Uncle Bongs Pizzeria to go see the Rats in the Alley improv show. When word got out it was my birthday people started buying me beers, and then came shots. Before i knew it i was a goner. Wasted. I remember hitting on every girl there.

The rest of the night consisted of me pissing and moaning about SHEWHOSHALLNOTBENAMED and what she did to me. Everyone was giving me advice about it. I don't remember if the advice was any good.

WEDNESDAY

Wednesday morning was hell for me. I crawled into bed the night before around 2 in the morning and layed there until I had to get up and be at school at 10am. I had to shoot the midterms for the class that i worked for. 30 psa's. They were only one-two minutes in length per student but i knew after the fifth one that i wouldn't have the energy to finish the class... I had Seth, Alonzo and Jamiel finish the psa's while i stood in the back trying not to vomit in the trash can.

After that we went to film a short film called 10 ways to save the environment. easy as pie.

After that we shot a little short horror film. The actress sucked really bad but hey, its a horror right? Bad acting is implied.

THURSDAY

I went to school same as usual. I took it easy that day but that night Adam called me up wanting to do a short. We got together and created a piece that is now known to the world as The Grate Confrontation. We shot this at fucking midnight. And then cut it at around 3 in the morning. I'm so lucky I dont sleep.

SATURDAY

I went bowling with some friends that I dont really hang out with. I haven't bowled in like 10 years. I was never good at it then either.

SUNDAY

(i'd like to pretend that it was like last sunday... sadly there are too many witnesses, pictures, videos, texts, and drunk dials for that day to ever be forgotten)

I'm not even going to beat around the bush... I got drunk at a family party. It was a shared party for my 23rd birthdayday and for a 9 year old girl. I got a bottle of whiskey as a present and me and my cousin Crystal started drinking it. I was a fuckin gonner cause i ended up drinking 3/4s of the bottle. i stumbled, I vomited, fell over in the front yard and vomited in the bathroom while i was trying to pee. And then repeat the process, yes all that happened to me twice. That was bad. The entire time i was like "guys, dont tell my mom that im drinking" even though she was standing right next to me. I saw my sister there, I havent spoken to her in a couple of months, but when I saw here I spilled my guts about the SHEWHOSHALLNOTBENAMED incident. I hit on my own cousin..... I'm not even gonna elaborate on that. My parents drove me home and put me in bed. I then woke up in the middle of the night and vomited again.

MONDAY OCT 11th

I woke up, drank some water. Went to school, did my job... Found out what happened last night... Apologized to my cousin. And went on with life.

I was never a huge drinker in the first place, but I just felt the need to. I remember buying alcohol for Seth when he was down in the dumps. It seemed to help him well. I thought I should give it a try. I needed something, if only temporary, to take my mind away from my weary heart. You might think it wasn't the right way to handle things. It most likely wasn't. I decided that day that I needed to get better. I wasn't gonna let this girl win by killing me slowly.

Insomnia

As I'm writing this its 4:03am... Just a usual night for me. I'v had insomnia for maybe as far back as "04. Its just hard for me to fall asleep. At night when I was younger, I'd pretend to be sleeping in my room at night. I thought thats what normal people did. I get microsleep here and there, and i fall asleep in random places sometimes, like in my car, at school on any comfortable couch. One time on the bus (i missed my exit). But after a couple of years have passed, I realized that my insomnia was apart of who I am. I could use it to my advantage. While other people were sleeping I could be doing stuff. Getting productive. I do shit. I read... a lot. And think too much.

One time I went to Denny's at 3am. I wasn't hungry, I just went to see who else is there in the middle of the night. Lately, I've been using my time trying to write and develop scripts. Also I've been getting back into playing music.

No joke though, being the only one awake while the world is sleeping gets weird at times. One time I went to Wal-mart in the middle of the night and I was just walking around. I noticed that I was the only one in the store. All of the workers there that were doing stocking had gone on lunch. The in store music was shut off and I was wandering around trying to find someone. Never in my life did I want to steal so badly.

And then there's the time I went to a party, and everyone was either drunk and passed out or sleeping. Of course I'm the only one awake (and sober) and I'm sitting on the couch with 6 other people sleeping around me. I'm wide awake and my one friend comes downstairs to get some water (for her drunk boyfriend) and somehow I scare the shit out of her cause I'm just sitting there staring at the wall. wait... that does sound creepy.

Gorilla Breast Milk

Thank you Adam for giving me the most beautiful combination of words that has ever graced the world of spoken language.

Gorilla Breast Milk

The rarest and most dangerous of breast milks to obtain. A millionaire gamesman ventured into the heart of africa to find this milk. It is said to give to any man that drinks it: immortality, brute strength and a hairy chest. The gamesman came back to america with 32ml of gorilla breast milk. It cost him an arm and a leg. Literally. The milk sold for ten million dollars on the black market.

Plot Synopsis

And that was it... thats all folks. it took me a while to comprehend what the hell just happened to me. 2009 has just become the best and worst year of my life. I sat at my desk for an hour after she hung up the phone. I thought about everything that I could possibly think about. I searched my memory through and through for any sign, any hint of what I could have done to prevent this. I thought of times we shared that could have sparked her reason for leaving me like she did. Everyone including her said that I did nothing wrong.

But thats not how i felt. maybe i was taking it too hard but i felt so bad. Did i drive her away? what did i say? or didnt say? did or didnt do?

i took it hard for a while. The lowest ive ever been. until a week later.

Who the fuck is Wes Gibson? catchphrase of the century.

those words rang through my head for so long that i even developed a little comedy bit for relationship questions during awkward semi-social encounters:

Who the fuck is Wes Gibson? Thats the guy she left me for. Yeah, i googled that that motherfuckers' name. It turns out that Wes Gibson is the name of the main character from the movie WANTED. Starring James Mcavoy. She's fucking James Mcavoy. In the dorm rooms...

well it sounds better when i say it out loud...

but yeah, it turns out a couple days after she gets with this guy. Again, I have the unpleasant fortune of finding out through the internet. (at this point im hating everything and everyone, especially the internet.) So i guess if its on facebook then its official.

FUCK FACEBOOK.

Since i'll probably never find out, nor do i want to know their origins story I can only really speculate how things happened between them. The filmmaker inside me can only watch in awe as my mind shapes their story:

A young girl moves to San Francisco to attend a prestigious art school. Leaving her old life and friends behind she ventures into the city. She meets a fellow art student, they become friends, they share life stories, they walk to and from class together, they have lunch and eventually dinner together. Their friendship grows closer until finally they take the leap. It doesnt matter to them who makes the first move, as long as the moves are made. By the end of the third act everything seems to be in order, the plot points are sound and the pacing is right. The only thing before the credits roll is to find out if they'll have a happy ending.

Put my name in the credits as LOSER EX-BOYFRIEND #3.

If i was a hollywood producer i would buy this pitch. Who would i get to play me? We already know who's playing Wes Gibson.

The Victory Sandwich

When it comes to filmmaking, I always say that anybody can do it. But I also say that it takes a certain kind of crazy to keep doing it. As we get progress and hone our craft. I found that we started having superstitions and certain little quirks about how we worked. The Victory sandwich for example, stemmed from the first night we worked on this film called Doorbell Ditch. (a piece of crap) We finished shooting around 1am and we all went out to Walmart and shared a giant sub sandwich. This sparked the tradition of the Victory sandwich. We were all so exhausted and for some reason, that was the best sandwich we had ever eaten. So now every time we have a really good shoot, we celebrate with a Victory Sandwich.

(we have lots of superstitions I have yet write about)

Facebook pwns everyone at times.

I was shocked. For in that moment in my life I became a statistic. I had the unfortunate pleasure of finding out that I was no longer in a relationship through the popular internet networking site called Facebook. My relationship status no longer said that I was in in a relationship with Whatsherface. I always wondered what facebook did when status' changed. She had changed her status back to "single". The thing about facebook is that all our mutual friends saw her status update. That saved me the trouble of telling everyone I got dumped.

But wait, didn't I just talk to her a few days before? Didn't we reestablish our connection? Weren't we going to work on our communication? Apparently not. I had to talk to her. But I knew that was gonna be tricky. I thought to myself, enough with the runaround, I'm just gonna hit her up directly. I called her... the usual voicemail.... I figured I'd have more luck with a text. Courage need not be present when texting your now apparent ex boyfriend.

this is how our text conversation went via text:

JAIME: Hey, I'm a little confused about what we talked about the other day. Can you call me?

(no answer)

JAIME: So I take it that we're not doing this relationship thing?

WHATSHERFACE: WASNT THAT WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT THE OTHER NIGHT?

JAIME: I think I misunderstood. Sorry... Call me up real quick.

WHATESHERFACE: I DONT SEE HOW YOU COULD HAVE MISINTERPRETED THAT.

JAIME: Can you just call me one more time? It won't take you that long.

(so she calls me up, this conversation lasted exactly 48 seconds)

WHATSHERFACE

whats up?

Jaime

Hey, sorry, I'm a little confused about what we talked about the other night.

WHATSHERFACE

I thought we cleared everything up

JAIME

Could you at least tell me what is going on then, explain it to me like I'm stupid or somthing.

WHATSHERFACE

Jaime, we're not in a relationship anymore.

Jaime sits in silence for a moment, his chest opens up and his heart falls out of his chest. It hits the floor with a loud THUD.

JAIME

Oh... ok.

WHATSHERFACE

Ok. well i have to go, i'll talk to you later, ok? bye.

Jaime holds the phone up to his ear long after the conversatin ended.

FADE OUT:

(at least "we're not in a relationship anymore" is better than "I don't love you anymore")

By any means necessary

And still no response. I take it that after she read the email I sent her, all she had to do was wait until my birthday and she would be rid of me.

It wasnt till about a week later that i had enough of the bullshit. I needed to speak to her. I was mad. I was really angry. But there was still no way for me to reach her. Finally I had got it. I had to take mattters into my own hands. I told my friend Victoria to text her that I had been in a car accident. I had it all planned out too. I was driving down the the 80 and in order to avoid a pile up I had to pull a 180 off the road into the center divider. I waited to see if she would call me. She text Victoria back asking if i was ok. She said she didn't know. Then she finally called me. I just let it ring. For once I hoped that her heart was pounfing in her chest, hoping that I would be ok or that she would feel some kind of guilt about never talking to me.

I sat there for at least twenty minutes. just waiting. I finaly called her back. She answered this time She asked if I was ok, and I fed her my bullshit story. I hope she was smart enough to see how farfetched my story was. It didne matter if she believed me or not, and I didn't care if she did. I was glad that it worked cause I finally had her on the phone. I could finally say all the things that wanted to say to her, I wanted to throw everything I had at her.

But for some reason I didn't. I dont know what happened. Maybe it was just the fact that we were talking and that I was just glad to hear her voice. Or maybe I'm too much of a nice guy and I forgive too easily under pressure. I don't think I had it in me to just yell at this girl. Maybe she was right when she said that me being a libra causes me to overthink. I understood our situations, and I guess for one moment over the phone with her I couldn't see a reason to be genuinely mad at her.

We talked about things, regular things. The things that just dont matter. Maybe it was the type of conversation that two people have when they both want to avoid the real matter at hand. It was like two friends getting back in touch after years of not speaking to one another. She told me it was wrong what she did, but she never actually apologized.

And thats something that stuck in my my mind for a while. I've spoken to many friends, (some of whom might be reading this right now) and they all agreed that she did me dirty. It came to the point where I ended up defending her actions to make her sound less like the epitomy of evil. Also it helped me lie to myself that our relationship wasn't circiling the drain. I always knew it, everyone knew it too. I even predicted the outcome. Damn... I should have put money on it.

CUT TO: 3 days later... I hate everything.

The hardest thing I've ever had to write

Hi... I've been wanting to talk to you for the longest time, but that just seems unlikely nowadays. I just want to know what's going on between us. I'm not gonna lie to you, I've been trying to write you this message for a couple hours now, I just cant figure out what to say and what not to say. But this is me 100 percent honest. I don't know what happened to make you not want to talk to me anymore. I get that you're busy, but so busy that you wont speak to me for a month? I don't know what I did to deserve this. I really care about you, but i feel like you just moved away and moved on. I hope thats not the case. I want to be in this relationship with you, but there has to be a communication, I know you know this. But if you want to break it off, I want you to tell me and tell me why.. just don't leave me hanging please. that could be one of the meanest things you could do to someone. so i'll leave it like this; i want you to call me, anytime before my birthday. if i dont hear from you, I'll assume the worst and that you just don't want anything to do with me and I'll leave you alone.. you know where to find me and how to reach me. i really hope to hear from you and I love you very much p.s. I hope that our of respect of our friendship this message can stay a private matter..

well, i guess i didn't keep up my end of the PS.

It was dead before it hit the floor

When she left I went on with my daily activities. I chose to give her space and wait for her to call me. she'd probably be really busy moving and getting settled in. A week passed, and then another week. Finally I start to call her. Nothing, I text her and I get a response about a week later.

(This is the actual text conversation we had. I cant find my side of the conversation so ill do my best to fill in the blanks)

Jaime: How you doing?

HER: ITS BEEN ONE CRAZY WEEK

Jaime: I'd imagine, hope everthing is going well, im happy for you.

HER: THANKS JAIME HOWS WORK?

Jaime: Its going good, it hasnt picked up yet. hows class so far?

HER: GOOOOOOOOOOD. THATS GOOD.YOU'RE DOIN WELL FOR YOURSELF. AND SCHOOL JUST STARTED, SO I'VE ONLY BEEN TO HALF MY CLASSES. SO FAR IT'S GOOD. LOTSA WORK.

Jaime: cool... i dont mean to sound like a broken record. but, i just wanted to say that i miss you

HER: I KNOW U DO. ITS OKAY. I HAVE BEEN GONE A WHOLE WEEK. I'LL VISIT SOON.

Jaime: cool, i saw that you watched mega shark vs giant octupus

HER: INDEED I DID. EPICNESS

Jaime: good movie, a shark attacking a 707.

HER: MORE LIKE ANIHINLATING AN AIRPLANE

Jaime: Well I'm glad that everything is good. Call me ok?

HER: WILL DO :) TAKE CARE!!!

I didnt hear from her ever again. My friend Adam told me that if I wanted to call or talk to her then I should. So I did. I called her a bunch of times. Still no answer. Until one day I had to send her an email.

CUT TO: 2 months later, and I hate your guts

So things were sailing between me and her. We were together, and from what I thought, happy. She was getting ready to move to San Francisco. I felt like I saw less of her as the day she moved grew closer. I just took it as she needed time to get ready. the last day i saw her was the day before she moved. Thursday, August 27th. I spoke to her on the phone earlier and she told me she would be free to hang around four and go to the thrift store. (cause that was her thing) I drove to her house and knocked on her door. she answered with the most surprised look in her face. I guess she only speculated that she might be able to hang out if she finished packing, which she wasn't of course. I was embarrassed for showing up at her house unnanounced. No, i just felt stupid. I apologized profusley and acted like it was no problem. I said it was cool, and I almost joked that I did it on purpose. She thought I was mad but I assured her I wasnt and pretended to brush it off. I kissed her goodbye (which to my surprise, was goodbye for good) and I walked back to my car. I got in and before I turned the key to the ignition I just sat there to myself and all i could say was "Fuck".

at 4:48 that day i recieved a text from her and it read: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JAIME.AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OVER JUST TO SEE LITTLE OLE ME. IM SORRY IM SO BUSY.

(no joke, it took me damn near ten minutes to search through my phone for that one text. I scrolled through so many of her messages. I felt an anxiety that only comes around during the worst of situations. It just reawakened feelings that were apparently buried in a shallow grave.)

Anyways, so I get the text but I decided not to answer it. I was confused for a bit leading up to the days of her departure. I didn't understand why we were seeing less of each other when she was moving away so soon. Some would think the opposite. Cause if that were me, I'd want to see her as much as possible.

Vampires

Do they exist? I think that every case of spontaneous combustion is the government tying to cover up the existance of vampires.

Foreward

Those reading should not consider this a book think of it as just me talking to you. If you're a friend of mine... Hi! If you're not... Welcome! I hope you'll find this interesting and if not, this will make really fancy toilet paper. If you're a family member, then this will probably explain why i keep missing out on those oh-so-important family get togethers.

Foreword to the Foreword

This is dedicated to you... and me.

I want to let everyone know that this is going to get crazy. There will be profanity. I'm crazy, this book is full of crazy, and if you're going to read further than this page... you're crazy. Don't say i didn't warn you.

Scrrenplay this Disaster...

So back in 2009 for some reason I had this crazy idea to write a book. With all the things that happened to me that year it would be a shame not to share it with the world. What I didn't know was that probably half of the book would be about this breakup that I went through. Henry Miller once said "The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature." I guess he said it best... The entries in this blogspot are completely true, the events happened the way I remember them and from my own personal account. This is by no means a stab at the ex. This is just the way life works. So lets see. Shall I start from the beginning?

2 Chapters walk into a bar...

CHAPTER 1

Do you think Chapter 3 will

be any better than the both of us?

CHAPTER 2

It better be. We completely

blew it out there.

CHAPTER 1

Another scotch?

CHAPTER 2

Yeah sure...