Dear Darla,

I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're scum between my toes.

Love, Alfalfa

I love Little Rascals.

layin' tracks, mofo

completely rough and shitty sounding. I'm a little torn between recording songs live (like this one) or recording in layers. doing them live is great cause it'll sound exactly like how we sound during shows. But I really like doing layers cause the quality will be top shit, but the downside is that most of the songs I record by doing layering I cant even play those live cause they're too complicated to sing and play at the same time. weird... I kinda hate singing my own songs now. I mean i have no formal vocal training. I can scream my lungs off like a champ (lately i've been thinking of getting in a hardcore band) but i cant sing for the life of me. however, Seth's voice sounds like god having sex, and is guitar playing is getting better. He got that from me haha.

Internships

I'm so tired of scouring the crew ads and keep seeing all these projects that are looking for unpaid "interns". I totally get that some project are little to no budget and they say that most positions are volunteer. But they try to get free labor out of the younger inexperienced filmmaker. To be completely clear, in the state of California, unpaid internships are ILLEGAL. there are a few exceptions like the college credit intern but that has to be worked out with a college's production course as part of the curriculum. To be qualified as an unpaid intern the job has to have no benefits toward the company. Basically interns are a learning position for potential employees. Say a production company lets an intern provide feedback on a script. That script has to be one of those "it'll never get produced scripts". and thats fine, its completely legal cause it does not provide any financial gain for the company. But if its the latter, and the script is in current production, then that requires compensation. so please... don't take an unpaid internship job, its too much of a hassle.

On the edge

Its images like this that make me proud of what I can accomplish.

I needed this. Heroin status. lol

There's only so much you can take before the pressure gets to you. I've been able to keep it together for a while. But the truth is, I'm really scared for my future. I can't do this by myself. Sometimes I feel like an asshole when I look at these blog posts and count how many times the word "I" is typed. Everything isn't about me. me. me. I learned that the hard way. I'm kinda fucking lonely. I'm not looking for a relationship and I'm not looking to get my dick wet. I just. Feel lonely. I just wish somebody would give a fuck about me. I feel like I'm on the verge of doing some amazing shit. I'd just like someone to cheer me on. There's no point in doing anything if no one knows you did it.

equipment check

what am i bringing?

camera -batteries, cards, caps, plugs

lights, gels, clips, cords

jib, steadicam. screws and bolts

tape, tripod,

2nd cam (just in case)

Jesse

knife, screwdriver, gas money toll money

pen, pencil. My A game.

script

I know I'm forgetting something.

My new years resolutions checklist..halfway point

they're pretty much all attainable. and they all open for interpretation.

2010 checklist:
1. Meet a new person everyday (or try to)
2. play more music. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
3. watch more movies. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
4 make a pretty girl smile. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
5. Get into a fight
6. make a film that matters.
7. make my mother proud of me.
8. help a stranger xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
9. help a friend. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
10. mend a broken heart xxxxxxxxxxx In a way, I helped you
11. laugh more xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
12. cry more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
13. see the world through someone else's eyes. xxxxxxxxxxxx
14. skateboard more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
15. make my life meaningful
16. visit a grave (doesn't matter whose) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
17. make someone spit-take xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
18. get out of california
19. road trip
20 win an eating contest
21 learn to ride a bike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
22 save a baby xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
23 get in a picture xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
24 win an award
26 tell someone you love them
27 converse with someone that doesn't speak english xxxxxxxxxxx
28 cross off a resolution with a friend
29 meet a celebrity (bonus points if you get a picture)xxxxxxtomhanks
30 get your name in papers
31 sleep xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
32 destroy something beautiful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
33 earn someone's trust xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
34 fly
35 get lost with a friend
36 celebrate the holidays
37 listen to every song on your ipod xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
38 catch a fish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
39 start an applaud (bonus points if its a slow clap) xxxxxxxxxxxxx
40 live dammit live!
41. get Victoria hooked up.
42. do rwo resolutions at once
43. trust someone.
44. learn to speak elvish