Writers Note: Happy Valentine's Day! Anyone reading this blogspot should know that there I express a lot of hatred towards whatsherface. But there was a time when i did (keyword is past tense) care for this person. I did write about what it was like before that. So in the spirit of Valentine's day, I give you the genesis...
More months pass, and we were still friends. When summer came around thats when things started to change. We started hanging out more often and we both decided that it would be cool if we wrote a script together. I remember a night around the time we finished the script. We went to starbucks and we had a conversation that really took us to another step in our friendship. We had both agreed with each other that if one of us started seeing someone, that the other would really feel bad about it. When I dropped her off at her house, we sat in my car for hours. We talked the kind of talk that made it seem like everything outside the car didn't really matter. We listened to music on my ipod. Songs that I've heard a hundred times over. But for some reason they sounded different, somewhat better. All of a sudden had a new meaning to me. As the night progressed we got more comfortable. I found my shoulder occupied by her resting head, her hand wrapped around my arm. I felt a chill, not of cold but of excitement. For that moment in time I felt like everything was ok. We shifted poesitions until I finally wrapped my arm around her. We sat there for what seemed like hours. She left around 2 in the morning, we sat back in our chairs looking at each other. it was an awkward silence, we were probably both thinking "what the fuck just happened?" and then she asked me something that just made so much sense to me, "what if we introduced a plot twist?" damn... i cant believe she just asked that. so many things shot through my mind in the following seconds. and then i knew, without a shadow of a doubt that she wanted me to kiss her. it took me so long to muster up the courage to lean forward and kiss her. i dont know how i did it, but when it was all over we looked each other in the eyes and knew that we stumbled onto something big. In a good wasy of course. For the longest time I thought she would never feel anywhere near the same way that I feel about her. I just proved myself wrong.
cut to: two months later and i hate her fucking guts.
An unfinished Kitchen Sink Song. I just never felt like finishing it.
I don't even remember the chords to play this.
so let the zombies come and eat your brains,
I dont think we will make out, or make it out alive
its just you and I, in this bunker built for two
and we're low on supplies, and i don't think its right to say
that i hate you, for eating all our food, and making so much noise.
I'd rather be outside, than in there with you.
your as brainless as a zombie
and a very horrible shot
and I cant afford to travel
cause you cannot tie a knot
with this rope on this boat
that we'll steal to find an island
to escape from these zombies
who are trying to be violent
and i know were going steady
but i was never ready to pick up this machete
and its going to be messy
with my hands stained red
ill fight the undead
all in the hopes that i can get the hell away from you.
Originally written on 9/16/09, taken from my myspace blog
Making films can be some of the hardest things for a person to do. It is strenuous. Its laborious. And it can be detrimental to ones mental health. (I'm literally crazy) But really, filmmaking is not one thing, its a bunch of things. People can say deep down, its storytelling. I say otherwise. Its much more than an art. Its everything you have ever learned in your life: Writing what you know, what you've been though. Its pulling aspects of your story from you own life. Its the way your social skills developed in order to meet people, cast them, direct them, work with them and eventually help advertise. Its juggling ten things at once. Seriously, every aspect of production is linked with one another, each one needs to work together and independently at the same time. If the script sucks, you're fucked from the start. if the actors suck, you cant save it in post. You can have great cinematography, but you can still fuck up the sound. you need everything.... and you need to be good at everything.... It doesnt make any sense if you're a director but cant operate a camera. it doesnt make any sense if your a cinematographer but dont know how to edit. I fucking hate directors that dont do shit. get dirty with us. I hate cinematographers that dont know shit about lights. I hate writers that write scripts that are basically about nothing. I hate editors that cant mix their own sound. I hate actors that don't know that they shouldn't act. I hate the filmmaker's equivalent to the weekend warrior. Half-assers that think they "know whats up". We live, breathe, and eat this shit.
I'm sorry if i sound angry, its just a meaningless rant... but honestly, if you think that the above offended you, and you might think that I'm targeting some people... I'm not. I mentioned no names.... BUT if you do think that im talking about you, then i must have called you out on one of your own faults.... fucking do something about it. prove me wrong...
OCT 4-10
SUNDAY
I don't really remember
MONDAY
i woke up and went to work. same old shit.
TUESDAY
i went to school that day a little early, i wanted to pop in just before the class before mine. George saw me and announced to his class that it was my birthday. I pretended to be embarrassed but i secretly wanted people to know.
Angelica got me a balloon ans a hello kitty tiara. How nice.
After that Seth and I spent the rest of the day talking to this girl named Sara. Her birthday was the day before mine. We talked about party stories, drunken tales from years past. I'll have to admit it was a one sided conversation. I never got shitfaced before in my life. (if only i knew)
That night I went to Uncle Bongs Pizzeria to go see the Rats in the Alley improv show. When word got out it was my birthday people started buying me beers, and then came shots. Before i knew it i was a goner. Wasted. I remember hitting on every girl there.
The rest of the night consisted of me pissing and moaning about SHEWHOSHALLNOTBENAMED and what she did to me. Everyone was giving me advice about it. I don't remember if the advice was any good.
WEDNESDAY
Wednesday morning was hell for me. I crawled into bed the night before around 2 in the morning and layed there until I had to get up and be at school at 10am. I had to shoot the midterms for the class that i worked for. 30 psa's. They were only one-two minutes in length per student but i knew after the fifth one that i wouldn't have the energy to finish the class... I had Seth, Alonzo and Jamiel finish the psa's while i stood in the back trying not to vomit in the trash can.
After that we went to film a short film called 10 ways to save the environment. easy as pie.
After that we shot a little short horror film. The actress sucked really bad but hey, its a horror right? Bad acting is implied.
THURSDAY
I went to school same as usual. I took it easy that day but that night Adam called me up wanting to do a short. We got together and created a piece that is now known to the world as The Grate Confrontation. We shot this at fucking midnight. And then cut it at around 3 in the morning. I'm so lucky I dont sleep.
SATURDAY
I went bowling with some friends that I dont really hang out with. I haven't bowled in like 10 years. I was never good at it then either.
SUNDAY
(i'd like to pretend that it was like last sunday... sadly there are too many witnesses, pictures, videos, texts, and drunk dials for that day to ever be forgotten)
I'm not even going to beat around the bush... I got drunk at a family party. It was a shared party for my 23rd birthdayday and for a 9 year old girl. I got a bottle of whiskey as a present and me and my cousin Crystal started drinking it. I was a fuckin gonner cause i ended up drinking 3/4s of the bottle. i stumbled, I vomited, fell over in the front yard and vomited in the bathroom while i was trying to pee. And then repeat the process, yes all that happened to me twice. That was bad. The entire time i was like "guys, dont tell my mom that im drinking" even though she was standing right next to me. I saw my sister there, I havent spoken to her in a couple of months, but when I saw here I spilled my guts about the SHEWHOSHALLNOTBENAMED incident. I hit on my own cousin..... I'm not even gonna elaborate on that. My parents drove me home and put me in bed. I then woke up in the middle of the night and vomited again.
MONDAY OCT 11th
I woke up, drank some water. Went to school, did my job... Found out what happened last night... Apologized to my cousin. And went on with life.
I was never a huge drinker in the first place, but I just felt the need to. I remember buying alcohol for Seth when he was down in the dumps. It seemed to help him well. I thought I should give it a try. I needed something, if only temporary, to take my mind away from my weary heart. You might think it wasn't the right way to handle things. It most likely wasn't. I decided that day that I needed to get better. I wasn't gonna let this girl win by killing me slowly.
Thank you Adam for giving me the most beautiful combination of words that has ever graced the world of spoken language.
Gorilla Breast Milk
The rarest and most dangerous of breast milks to obtain. A millionaire gamesman ventured into the heart of africa to find this milk. It is said to give to any man that drinks it: immortality, brute strength and a hairy chest. The gamesman came back to america with 32ml of gorilla breast milk. It cost him an arm and a leg. Literally. The milk sold for ten million dollars on the black market.
