There's only so much you can take before the pressure gets to you. I've been able to keep it together for a while. But the truth is, I'm really scared for my future. I can't do this by myself. Sometimes I feel like an asshole when I look at these blog posts and count how many times the word "I" is typed. Everything isn't about me. me. me. I learned that the hard way. I'm kinda fucking lonely. I'm not looking for a relationship and I'm not looking to get my dick wet. I just. Feel lonely. I just wish somebody would give a fuck about me. I feel like I'm on the verge of doing some amazing shit. I'd just like someone to cheer me on. There's no point in doing anything if no one knows you did it.

equipment check

what am i bringing?

camera -batteries, cards, caps, plugs

lights, gels, clips, cords

jib, steadicam. screws and bolts

tape, tripod,

2nd cam (just in case)

Jesse

knife, screwdriver, gas money toll money

pen, pencil. My A game.

script

I know I'm forgetting something.

My new years resolutions checklist..halfway point

they're pretty much all attainable. and they all open for interpretation.

2010 checklist:
1. Meet a new person everyday (or try to)
2. play more music. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
3. watch more movies. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
4 make a pretty girl smile. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
5. Get into a fight
6. make a film that matters.
7. make my mother proud of me.
8. help a stranger xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
9. help a friend. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
10. mend a broken heart xxxxxxxxxxx In a way, I helped you
11. laugh more xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
12. cry more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
13. see the world through someone else's eyes. xxxxxxxxxxxx
14. skateboard more. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
15. make my life meaningful
16. visit a grave (doesn't matter whose) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
17. make someone spit-take xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
18. get out of california
19. road trip
20 win an eating contest
21 learn to ride a bike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
22 save a baby xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
23 get in a picture xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
24 win an award
26 tell someone you love them
27 converse with someone that doesn't speak english xxxxxxxxxxx
28 cross off a resolution with a friend
29 meet a celebrity (bonus points if you get a picture)xxxxxxtomhanks
30 get your name in papers
31 sleep xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
32 destroy something beautiful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
33 earn someone's trust xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
34 fly
35 get lost with a friend
36 celebrate the holidays
37 listen to every song on your ipod xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
38 catch a fish xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
39 start an applaud (bonus points if its a slow clap) xxxxxxxxxxxxx
40 live dammit live!
41. get Victoria hooked up.
42. do rwo resolutions at once
43. trust someone.
44. learn to speak elvish

Whoa, Mozart Season signs to Equal Vision

I had just found that out like 2 minutes ago. Damn thats a good label too. Glad I was able to work with them before they're gonna be too hard to reach. Our video is still up on their myspace page which is really cool to see.

Whats wrong with this picture?

yes that is a tower of mini dv tapes. each tapes has 60 minutes of footage. Theres about 200 of them on the wall (not counting the ones i havent stacked yet) thats 200 hours, which is almost 8 days. So I have spent at least 8 days behind a camera. damn.

Darth vader keeps me on track when I'm working. and he also critiques my songs. (sometimes a little too harsh)

I need to empty my trash can. My walls are painted black. My printer has no paper in it and I'm running out of ink. The chair is actually pink. hmm. that might be the reason for the black and whiteness.

Losing The Magic

me and Matt King are developing a film. The premise should have been concocted while under the heavy influence of marijuana. But we were totally sober. Or you can blame all the fried foods and sugary liquids we were consuming. But losing the Magic is the story of a documentary crew running around finding the last remaining students from the third grade class of a teacher named Ms. Frizzle.. She was known to go on a field trip everyday. More on this in a bit, I have a doc appt at 3:30 and i need to be driving to Vacaville right now! I'm off!

5:30

Sitting in the office. Bored. I pulled out the camera and decided to tinker with it. I'm shooting a short this weekend out in Daly City. The footage I've shot so far is amazing. Yeah, I'm watching Eternal Sunshine right now. Its amazing. I was looking at a post on a friends blog and it made me want to watch it.