3:12

I wish I could talk to you.

Trying to clean this damn office, as usual. Pacing around the room. I get another one of those, deadly waves of lonesome regret. Thats the downside of not sleeping as much as I do. I think too much. I'm thinking about all the opportunities that passed me up. I think I have my life on track. I know all the right people. I'm really trying.

I got into a conversation with an a friend of mine about motivation. I said the things that drive me to do things are never for personal gain. I stand by what I said. What's the point in doing something amazing if you don't have anyone to show it to? The past half year was spent trying to impress someone. No matter the outcome, good or bad, (in this case the latter) it made me work. I need to find another reason to keep doing this film shenanigans.

But anyways, dude I'm feeling good. My surgery for my left eye is next week. I hope the lens takes. It better, or I'll be pissed.

The very first line of this post was meant to be down here... I do though. I wish I could talk to you. I wish I could say the things I want to say. Congrats. Hope that works out and that you're happy. I feel like I fucked up as a friend. I don't have any feelings anymore. I'm surprised at how much I really don't care anymore. And I don't mean that to be insensitive at all. I mean I thought I was gonna be all distraught about it. But I'm not. I find it cute actually.. lol.