Tuesday, February 9, 2010

CUT TO: 2 months later, and I hate your guts

So things were sailing between me and her. We were together, and from what I thought, happy. She was getting ready to move to San Francisco. I felt like I saw less of her as the day she moved grew closer. I just took it as she needed time to get ready. the last day i saw her was the day before she moved. Thursday, August 27th. I spoke to her on the phone earlier and she told me she would be free to hang around four and go to the thrift store. (cause that was her thing) I drove to her house and knocked on her door. she answered with the most surprised look in her face. I guess she only speculated that she might be able to hang out if she finished packing, which she wasn't of course. I was embarrassed for showing up at her house unnanounced. No, i just felt stupid. I apologized profusley and acted like it was no problem. I said it was cool, and I almost joked that I did it on purpose. She thought I was mad but I assured her I wasnt and pretended to brush it off. I kissed her goodbye (which to my surprise, was goodbye for good) and I walked back to my car. I got in and before I turned the key to the ignition I just sat there to myself and all i could say was "Fuck".


at 4:48 that day i recieved a text from her and it read: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JAIME.AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OVER JUST TO SEE LITTLE OLE ME. IM SORRY IM SO BUSY.


(no joke, it took me damn near ten minutes to search through my phone for that one text. I scrolled through so many of her messages. I felt an anxiety that only comes around during the worst of situations. It just reawakened feelings that were apparently buried in a shallow grave.)


Anyways, so I get the text but I decided not to answer it. I was confused for a bit leading up to the days of her departure. I didn't understand why we were seeing less of each other when she was moving away so soon. Some would think the opposite. Cause if that were me, I'd want to see her as much as possible.

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